September 4, 2009

a shadow of things to come...

I must confess that I am considering crossing over to the dark side. After being a loyal Cougar for five years (loyal being a relative term, since I only went to one game, and then only because I was dating someone in the marching band), I am courting APU's arch-enemy with intent to switch sides. That's right, next fall, I may attend...
*insert shocked gasp here*
Honestly, my reasons for applying to Biola are rather straight-forward. They are one of the few colleges, let alone Christian colleges, that offer a Masters in Applied Linguistics, with a TESOL emphasis, which is what I am interested in pursuing. Second, they offer several scholarships, including a financial need grant which could cover most to all of the costs to attend. Thirdly, they offer married housing. And lastly, any reservations I once had about attending Biola due to their strict behavioral guidelines are all moot points, considering that I'm now married, don't drink, and have put the days of illicit drugs behind me.
I do have other concerns about attending grad school in general, however. Part of me feels like it is selfish. Before, when I was single, I was free to pretty much do whatever I wanted without really worrying about how it would affect others (within reason, obviously). Now, however, there is someone else attached to me. I want to make sure that I always consider his best interests as well. For his part, he has made it very clear to me that he is completely supportive of my decisions and doesn't mind following me to China, if need be. But his supportiveness makes me want to be even more careful with my decisions.
Another, darker, more scared part of me feels like grad school would be wasted on me. I kind of feel that way about my undergrad degree, like I'm not doing anything great and important with it. The up side about this degree is that I might actually be able to get a job with it, which would be wonderful. So maybe that fear is more of a personal insecurity that I just need to ignore.
I would love to attend school again, to really be challenged and have an opportunity to work hard and be proud of myself. I feel like that would be good.

On a more knitterly note, I am still working away on my husband's scarf.
Scarf 02
It's just a simple 1x1 rib in alternating colors of SWS. I started to get bored, so I have added a double knitting section in which I am planning on adding his initials. The rib transitions really well to the double knitting, since they are essentially the same action with a slightly different technique.
Every time I make a scarf, I swear it's the last one, and then someone requests one and start to think how it might be fun to just do one more and before you know it, here I am again, knitting the stupid thing. I would like to say that this is my last, but we all know that probably not the case.
Also, coming soon I plan to do a wedding recap, with the best pics, some memories of the day, and vendor information (because we got some really awesome deals!)
See you soon!


the wonder that's keeping the stars apart said...

God never wastes anything.

and education is never wasted.

That's my take on it... and Steph, this is really exciting! I can so see you doing that program. No shame about Biola, either--I actually lived at Biola under the shadow of the giant wall Jesus for a couple of weeks. this was before I went to APU, with a MK-reentry course.

Let me know how it goes... love you, praying for you, and the wedding pictures are smashing.

Jin-roh said...

Sounds like Biola might be a good fit.

Don't feel that this is a "waste" on you. You music degree was not a waste anyway.

Besides, if it helps you find employment, than it is not a waste by the cost/benefit type thinking.